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Hey, Wandering Stargazer... (Another short I'm working on. FEEDBACK! Please and thank you)

                                              Hey, Wandering Stargazer…

                                        By: Pierre “WriterOfEpics” Gilson

At night, he ponders weighty thoughts of himself, friends, family, and strangers all around. A powerful sensation seizes him when he looks up beyond his reach. Strangely, he is not alone, we all are never truly alone.


“Hey, Wandering Stargazer.”


“What are you doing?”

“Looking at the sky.”


Black oceanic palettes, spread endlessly. Tiny little light bulbs placed so strategically, never looked so wonderful.


            “Hey, Wandering Stargazer?”


            “Why are you looking at the sky?”


            “Oh, because what, Wandering Stargazer?”

            “Because I can see.”

            “The stars?”

            “Yeah. I also see nothing, but I know there’s something.”


His eyes draw in the richness of the galaxy. The closeness of another reality.


“Hey, Wandering Stargazer?”

            “What is it?”

            “Have you ever left your home?”

            “No. I haven’t. I’ve visited places but never stayed for too long.”


            “I don’t know. Life gets in the way.”


Flickers of lights, tap in morse code to one another. Where is the moon tonight? Is the old man sleeping?


            “Hey, Wandering Stargazer?”

            “Yes, what is it?”

            “Why do you breathe?”

            “That’s a stupid question. I breathe out of my lungs to live.”

            “Okay, so, Wandering Stargazer. If living means that you are alive, why would life get in the way if it wants you to live?”

            “…it’s complicated.”

            “I don’t know, Wandering Stargazer. I just don’t know.”


The wind seems so surreal, Florida humidity draws much focus. His feet are planted on freshly watered grass. His head is above it all, even towering the tallest of skyscrapers.


            “Hey, Wandering Stargazer?”

            “Yes, yes, what is it now?”

            “What are you doing?”

            “I’m standing.”


            “Because, it’s all a person can do.”

            “…hey, Wandering Stargazer?”


            “Would you like to truly wander and see wonders?”


            “I’ll take that as a yes. Don’t be afraid, Wonderful Adventurer. A new journey is only another chapter in your story.”


Spectrums, deserts, cities, villages, animals, fantasy, continents, planets. He sees them all, life didn’t keep them from him. He kept them distant, all on his own, until The Almighty sent him a message. He is invigorated by the infinite possibilities of life, the treasures that will be shown.  

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Comment by Pierre Gilson Jr. on August 10, 2015 at 10:03am
Thank you very much. I'm happy that you enjoyed it. I had a feeling that Florida was too specific. I'll get right on it.
Comment by Kevin D. Lintz on August 9, 2015 at 6:14am

This is a very beautiful story. It has a nice back and forth between internal thoughts and dialogue.

The only suggestion I would make would be to change the line with the word "Florida". Since the story is universal and can be read and embraced by anyone who is pondering their life, adding the word Florida makes it too specific and could cause readers to not associate themselves with it.

Very nice story!

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